Freedom + Alchemy

Freedom + Alchemy

by | Aug 25, 2013 | Blog, Featured

Freedom + Alchemy

Last week my husband and I moved. And I got a PhD in Magic.

 

For the past six years, we lived in a magical spot: a log cabin nestled in a cedar forest alongside a roaring creek. We had found the house in a “magical” way. Our mortgage person told us she’d done some “magic” to get us approved (back at the tip-top of the market). We had big magic dreams for all the retreats and gatherings we would hold on this land. We built a sweat lodge with friends. People described the house and its setting as… yeah, you get it.

 

Magic was a word that got bandied about a lot these past few years…

 

Fast forward to this past January. After a lot of stuff happened–from stepping into my business full-time to not being able to sell a piece of land or refinance, from a few expensive medical crises to two layoffs, we’d tapped out everything in order to keep our magic house afloat. Though we kept trying to make it work, it was slowly choking us.

 

And yet for all these years, I had kept believing that there would be some magic solution. That something amazing would happen.

 

After all, the signs pointed to that, right?

 

A piece of me stopped living in the real world and started living in this world that would begin when my ship came in, when the lottery paid out, when an unexpected inheritance landed on our doorstep. Magically.

 

Exhausting, constricting and unsustainable, you say? Yep.

 

So… in January we got real. We decided to sell the house and land.

 

Then, weirdly enough, it was like the magic did start to happen.

 

We created a vision of the people we wanted to buy the property, and two weeks after it went on the market, we had a full-price offer… from a family who seemed to have every quality on our list.

 

I mentioned (to just one person) our desire to find a small house or cottage where we didn’t have to sign a long lease… and she just happened to own such a cottage. And that’s where we are living now.

 

While packing, I found all kinds of stuff I thought was long-gone, including that little “Freedom” bottle in the photo. Someone gave it to me long before we bought the house. It was almost like I had tucked away my freedom all those years ago–and then found it again… just in time.

 

So, what does this have to do with anything? Well, for a while now I’ve thought about my work as a kind of alchemy. It’s about taking what you are and what you’ve done and where you’ve been–as leaden as it might feel–and turning it into your gold.

 

This alchemy transforms what is real about you, your shadow, your story–into something you work with, instead of hiding. And in doing so, you release the burden of hoping and praying that people hear about and like you. You give up the glued-together-popsicle-stick, fingers-crossed version of doing your business–and get REAL about what your foundation really is. You put an end to doomsday thoughts like, “If only I had a masters degree” or “If only I hadn’t married my first husband” and instead see how all the threads of your story and your life matter and have prepared you to be exactly who you are and serve the clients only you are meant to serve.

 

Then and only then, so much clearer and lighter, are you FREE to experience the real magic…  Putting your message out to the world. Doing the work you are meant to be doing. Experiencing freedom.

 

That’s alchemy. And it can’t begin until we put away all that old magical thinking.
On Being Seen

On Being Seen

by | Apr 3, 2013 | Blog, Featured

On Being Seen

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
—”Anthem” by Leonard Cohen


You know when someone takes a picture of you when you’re not looking? Then you see it and you don’t recognize your grim face or your giant upper arms?

Or maybe you catch a glimpse of yourself in a restaurant mirror while you’re eating… Or ruining your mascara at your oldest friend’s wedding.

I’ve been thinking about this lately as it relates to how we position ourselves in our business.

We are so accustomed to positioning ourselves that we don’t recognize the “candid” shot. Or worse, we just automatically hate it or reject it because it shows those cracks. But the candid shot really is how people see you… sometimes. It’s how you look and how you are.  They still love you in spite of it. And quite often, it’s just downright beautiful.

What I’ve come to learn after talking with dozens of entrepreneurs and business owners about their story is that they believe that expressing who they really are in business (showing those cracks) is a weakness. That if they reveal who they really are, they will lose their potential client’s respect or their own credibility in the marketplace.

I think the opposite is true. I think when you show that crack, whether it’s sharing an aspect of your “mess” that you’ve always hidden—how you flunked out of two colleges or went bankrupt at age 40 or realized after 10 years that you weren’t cut out to be a lawyer—or just being bold enough to take a stand on something you really believe in, you actually make a deeper connection with your ideal client.

Look at that woman in the photo above… Would you feel more drawn to her if she was smiling in the standard group wedding portrait rather than here, wiping away her tears? I think she’s luminous.

I believe the light gets in and the clients can find you even more easily when you let the crack show. So forget your perfect offering and just show up.

If you’re interested in telling your story, cracks and all, please check out the  Golden Thread Session.

Getting Real

Getting Real

by | Apr 1, 2013 | Blog, Featured

Getting Real

My blog, until today, has been like the shoemaker’s child.

So, I’ve got to admit something horrifying. Horrifying to me, at least. I write blogs for other people–and don’t write my own. OK, there it is. In order to stop this trend, I’ve signed up for the Ultimate Blog Challenge and am going to (Am. Going. To.) write a blog a day each day in April.

Tonight, I’m also getting ready for my interview tomorrow with Darla LeDoux for her Truth Summit--and the two events are definitely connected. On the telesummit, she’s talking with 20 entrepreneurs about how powerful it is to design your business model around what you actually believe. For me, telling the truth is all about having enough–being enough–not waiting for there to be more–of whatever–before I start sharing.

I learned a new word today, “atelophobia,” from the Greek for “imperfection” and “fear.” It is, according to Wikipedia, an anxiety disorder that “makes the person afflicted feel like everything they do is wrong.” From what I see in my clients (and myself) this is what keeps us from blogging or from putting our true message out there in the world. Not being enough, not having anything worthwhile to say, and feeling like anything we do say is just going to be wrong anyway. God, I’m a damn atelophobe.

My business is all about helping entrepreneurs get clear on what they have to say–and finding powerful, meaningful, authentic ways to say it. It’s all about the truth.

So here goes. With the Ultimate Blog Challenge, I feel a new day dawning. 🙂

Hello, world. Hello, shoes. Goodbye, atelophobia.

The Siren Call of “Everything”

by | Oct 21, 2012 | Blog, Featured

The Siren Call of “Everything”

We’ve had a cool 18-year-old kid staying with us on and off this year. He and I share my desk and many mornings I find scattered stickies with his girlfriend’s name penned in his elegant script.

The other day, I found this list, titled “I do everything!”

[Spelling is not one of the things he does, so here’s a quick translation: ukelele, guitar, magic, cook, art, calligraphy, agriculture, Ultimate Fight Club, science, poetry, romantic.]

All of it’s true… so that’s not my point. He’s got a lot to offer—and, as he’ll tell you, a whooooole lot to offer the ladies. Like it says, he’s romantic.

My point is that this desire to be everything is natural when you’re 18. But when you’re in business, your clients aren’t like a teenage girlfriend (or maybe they are, but this will still hold true for them, I promise.)

Your clients wants to work with someone who gets them, who understands them quickly, who makes them a specific offer. An offer that’s clear, definite, and confident.

If you are like my young friend (as so many of us are), you’re good at many things. And that’s great. I like to do it all, too, and I know it’s not easy to pick just one.

But if you want a website that hums and gets you clients, you’ve got to get specific.

When I work with someone on website copy, the first thing we do is narrow down “everyone” to their most ideal clients. And, believe me, almost all my clients initially say, “Oh, seriously, I DO work with everyone.”

But, think about it, if you’re a 40-year-old woman who’s never worked out and is desperate to get fit, but uncomfortable going to a gym, who would you rather work with?

Fitness Trainer A who works with “everyone”

Fitness Trainer B who works at home with women, 35-45, who are sick and tired of feeling out of shape and intimidated at stepping into a health club.

Being everything to everyone is good for your ego.

Being very specific about what you offer the person who really needs you is good for your business.